My Anti Depressant
by fictionalfact
Summary: They met in the worst way possible and hatred blooms…well for her actually. But when situations heat up, will they deny the existence of being siblings? mainly KiraxCagalli with a little KL & AC
1. Replacement and Additional

**Disclaimer:** Gundam Seed/Destiny, its plot and characters do not belong to me.

**A/N:** my first Gundam and KiraxCagalli fic! Kira and Cagalli are step-sister/brother in here. But they are not blood related since Cagalli's parents divorced. Kira's parents also parted ways and thus Cagalli's mother and Kira's father got together and fell in love. also this is definitely a KiraxCagalli fic...the words in Italics tell about the past and Cagalli can be quite mean.

**Warning:** if you don't like this pairing or plot please just turn back. thanks.

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**MY ANTI-DEPRESSANT**

fictionalfact

**Realization #1: Replacement and Additional**

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**POV: Cagalli**

A large bold letter colored bloody red shouted at me. **F**

"Wow, nice going Kira!" somewhere inside the classroom someone congratulated. My eyes instantly glared upon hearing that forbidden must-not-be-mentioned name. Ugh! I hate this! Finally the last bell resounded. I sighed. Slowly, as if my hands weigh more than a ton, I fixed my things and waited for them to evacuate the room. When the sounds finally died down, I stared once more at the shouting **F** on my Math test paper and hands formed a tight fist. I truly madly and absolutely love Math! Yeah, completely! With all my freaking heart and soul!

"Cagalli." Someone made its presence known. I looked up and just in time, caught him glanced at my exposed paper. I glared. "Do you need help in Math or something? I could help you and—"

"Cut the crap!" my voice sounded shrill even to my own ears. Quickly I fled out of the room leaving my step-brother in a daze.

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_Today's my eighth birthday you know and a week before, daddy complied with my idea of having a small slumber party since I'm not old enough to have those big parties wherein big people dance crazily and drink wine. Eeew. Mommy said it tastes awful! Glad I'm only turning eight! I've already told my friends to come here after class that is if they already packed their things. I'm very excited, see, my cheeks are starting to have this aching feeling of overly twitching my lips up to my ears._

_But as I walked down our street, I suddenly have this rutty feeling at the pit of my little stomach. As if something wrong's going to happen. But...NO! I have a lot of things to prepare. Maybe I'm just getting wacko or something._

"_I'm home! Mom let's start…" my voice trailed off as I saw her sprawled on the floor, crying. "Mommy why are you…" and just then, daddy walked down the stairs clutching two loaded baggage and his briefcase. He stopped at the foot of the stairs after seeing me._

"_Hey sweetheart," he smiled, but I saw that streak of sadness looming in his amber eyes, as if threatening me. "I thought you will be dismissed a little later…"_

"_Teacher decided not to do that picture project thingy today," and then I glared at the baggage in his hands. There's something going on here! "And what are THOSE for? My present?" _

_He sighed. He walked over to me since my legs and feet seemed plastered on the floor. "I'm sorry I won't be able to celebrate your birthday with your friends." He stooped down and planted a kiss on my cheek._

_I frowned. "Why's mommy crying? Why can't you celebrate with us? You're still here aren't you? You're not going anywhere right? Why do you have those…" she trailed and glared at his bags. "Those big bags?"_

_Daddy just hugged me and smiled. "I love you sweetie," and with that, he left. My daddy left us._

_I did not move. I did not even turn my head to watch daddy go. My eyes did not even shed a single tear. I just blocked my ears using my hands as the sound of an engine flared up and fled away from the garage. And when silence settled in, that's when this aching feeling, as if my heart was being torn into pieces, started flaring within me. It was tearing me! I don't know why. I don't understand any of it. I just hate grown-ups! They are puzzling!_

_But when they arrived, now I know, they made daddy left me. They were the reasons._

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**POV: Kira**

She was always angry. She always ignored and avoided me like I'm some kind of a plague. But then, I tried and tried and tried to talk and be nice until I finally give up and just ignored her as well. It was so eerie. I mean having a step-sister and not having at the same time. Like she is not alive and yet still living there. Like her soul is floating with a living flesh! Like...like a living ghost! Ok Kira, you're going overboard but ironically it may sound, that's the only explanation I can think of this bizarre relationship I had with my so-called step-sister. Everywhere I go, at school, with my friends, around town, it was like I'm not even related to her.

She despised me that much. But I can't blame her. I guess we made her father left. I can still remember that day when I first met her…

"_Who are they? What are they doing here? Why do they have those bags with them?" the girl with that golden blonde hair screamed and flashed those bright amber eyes dangerously at me. "What are you looking at, you dolt!"_

"_I...uh..." and quickly dodge behind father, my knees started trembling at the sight of that fiery eyes. She was scary. VERY scary. I thought girls are gentle and sweet and kind but this one isn't. She's the COMPLETE opposite. She almost looked like a boy to me! "Father, let's leave now," I pleaded, tugging the hem of father's pants. He just patted my head and smiled._

"_Mom! You're letting THEM stay here at OUR house? But they are strangers! Complete STRANGERS! Daddy said we should not let strangers in the house!" she went on. Her mother just cast a sorrowful glance at my father. _

"_From now on, Cagalli, they'll start living with us."_

"_WHAT!" the walls vibrated at the pitch of her voice. "What do you mean by, living WITH US? Define living with us?" _

"_Cagalli, they are family now." _

_She glared angrily at her, at father then at me. "I HATE ALL OF YOU!" and fled to the stairs. A door banged shut from above. My lips started quivering from the impact. She's totally scary! She's a monster on the loose! I will not survive here! _

But then, I did survive. Smiling at the memory, I switched on the lights and heard sounds from her room. A note was clipped on the refrigerator. _Eat dinner without us, ok, _it says. I started preparing the food and went to her room.

"Cagalli," and gently knocked her door. "Dad and Mom said they'll be late so we should have dinner without them." Silence. Then the floor started to quaver as footsteps pounded heavily as if King Kong himself is walking towards the door. I sighed and braced myself. Here goes once again. Prepare yourself Kira Yamato.

The door opened, its hinges nearly creaked from the force. She smirked and that comforted me…well, just a little. "Oh Kira, my sweet goody crybaby step-brother…WHY DON'T YOU EAT WITH YOURSELF AND STOP PESTERING ME OK?" she glared before banging the door shut.

Sighing, "I should have known."

But then, a smile dance on my lips as realization hit me. It may sound crazy but then I can't deny this…she looked awfully cute when she always uses that 'Oh Kira my sweet goody crybaby step-brother' line. I guess I do love my step-sister one way or the other.

Oh well.

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"KIRA! What are you doing there? Hurry up will you!" and loud bangs were produced from the other side of the door. It was 7:05 a.m. and the Yamato-Attha residence was already in full volume. I smiled at the brown haired guy staring back at me on the mirror.

You see, despite the antagonism of this little sibling…no, STEP-sibling relationship we have, I always had fun teasing and flaring that burning temper she has…especially for me. I guess you could call this a little brotherly beleaguer filled with oozing love. The smile grew wider as she started her familiar cycle of screaming. Then mother started calling from downstairs intervening the on-going kind of war.

"What's going in there Cagalli?"

"That weirdo is playing with my time here! I'm going to be late again in class!"

"Well, if you've only woken minutes ago—"

"I treasure my sleep," then turning towards the door, "KIRA! I'm waiting! If you don't get out of there I'll get my hands on you! HEAR THAT!"

A little more minutes. Finally, I flipped the latch, revealing a red faced Cagalli. "Your turn."

"Your turn your face!" with that, a flying fist soared towards my said face and just in time I successfully dodge away. As they say, you can't fool dogs with old techniques…well, we can relate that in people as well, can't we?

And so I grinned. "Better try next time sis," and hurriedly scamper to my abode.

"I WILL REALLY GET YOU FOR THIS!" and a door somewhere down the hall banged shut.

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**A/N:** sorry if its short...more like an introduction so things will go smoothly later on. i hope Cagalli's not too ooc or mean...so tell me what you think. thanks! and i'll be starting on my AthrunxCagalli fic as well. so stay tune!

**fictionalfact **signing off.


	2. Feelings and Its Forms

**A/N**: Somehow I replaced the chapter 2 with chapter 1 before. And finally, my sister was able to email it to me. So here it is. I forgot what I wrote in the A/N before. So...  
Lets get on with the story... ENJOY!

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**MY ANTI-DEPRESSANT**

fictionalfact

**Realization #2: Feelings and Its Forms  
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POV: Cagalli **

"AAAUUUUGH!"

Was that me? Did I just shout like some kind of a freaking Tarzan? Oh no. No. No. No! That can't be me. Of course it can't be me! Or maybe I did or should I say, my mind did. Yes, my mind shouted because it needed to shout, to release the energy, the force, the tension, the anger and…yeah, the burning desire to strangle a certain brown haired monkey and to plot for a hundred 'how to get a revenge' till he beg and pleaded and kneeled for mercy. I beamed.

"Um, hello Cagalli," Lacus broke my thoughts and smile uneasily beside me. Oh. I forgot about her. "You looked tensed a while ago and now…" she gestured at my sunny demeanor, "look at you. What's going on inside that head of yours again?"

"Oh, nothing good," and grinned impishly. Yup, what's going on inside my head? Definitely NOTHING good.

"All right. If you say so." She leaned her head on the tree's broad trunk, enjoying the shade it provided for us. I sat beside her as well. "I was just thinking…" she trailed and took a deep breath.

I groaned inwardly. I can already see where this is heading. You see, ever since Kira and his father moved in with me and my mom, he started going to the same school Lacus and I were attending. After seeing him, she suddenly went weird. Her eyes turned to this glassy and dreamy state turning her incapable of ceasing the lucrative sorcery of my idiotic step-brother. It was indeed a dreadful sight. I was awfully sorry for her. Kira sure used his manipulating charm rather successfully. But I wish, this time I will be wronged.

"What are you thinking?"

Lacus smiled.

Uh, well…there goes my faith jogging away from me.

"I decided to tell him."

Silence.

"Pardon me?"

Lacus faced me, gripping my shoulders solidly as if to pass her contagious happiness along the way. "I wanted to tell him, Cagalli. I wanted to confess to him my feelings, my love, my…just about everything!"

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Relax. Don't shout. Don't fret. Just don't do anything. I blinked, once, twice then thrice and tried to stay focused. "You want to confess that you like him." Lacus was blushing wildly now. "Ok. Let me breath for at least twenty minutes and we'll continue with this discussion."

"CAGALLI!"

"All right! All right! Sure go up to him and say I like you Kira. I won't mind. My hatred should not be the root of preventing you from doing what you desired," I settled back and gazed at the infinite sky. I didn't expect this. I've known Lacus since we were young and she's not the type of girl who'll just go right up to you and proclaim you're the love of her life. This is getting rather annoying.

"I need your help though."

I chuckled. "Yeah right, you need my…WHAT?" that sent my lifeless body, along with my near-to-slumber mind, upright. "You're not kidding me? You want me, Cagalli Yula Athha, the one who hate that spineless idiot more than any other, to help you? Like deliver your message or something? Lacus! That's out of the picture."

"I don't want you to pass the message or something," she protested and stared nimbly at her hands which started to do its own stuff. "I've think and rethink this through. I planned to tell him in another way. Not the direct approach, of course."

"Then? What?" I grimaced and glared at her. "What's my ROLE here?"

She looked up, her eyes pleading and cheeks burning as her hands unveiled what it's been hiding all the while. "I want you to open his locker."

"I'm home." I slumped on the sofa where mom was sitting, grinning manically at me. Kira was standing not far away and currently fidgeting. Something's going on here. "What the ruckus about?"

"One of the teachers called and said that Kira will be leading the computer mechanics for the upcoming school festival. Isn't that great? My very own son was elected." My gaze narrowed. Her very OWN son? When that idiot did become HER son? And for goodness sake! It's only a school festival! Nothing to frenzy about.

"Mom!" Kira stated sheepishly.

"You should be proud of yourself son!" step-father appeared from the kitchen and slapped him on the back. "Good job at that!"

"It's no biggie really," the brown haired idiot asserted.

"Of course it is! We need to have a celebration!" mother exclaimed and went to her feet. "Come help me in the kitchen Cagalli."

I frowned and glared silently at him. "Why don't you all celebrate with yourselves, since I've got a lot of things to do?" I walked out and went straight to my room. My sudden outburst must have taken them aback for the living room went utterly silent.

Why, when I made it to the student council did they 'celebrate'? I don't know why mom treated him _special_. And he was never her son! She only gave birth to ONE daughter and that's _me_. So, why's the special attention focused on him alone? And I'm her only blood-related daughter. I just don't understand.

I stared at my own reflection on the mirror and sighed. "Admit it, you're just jealous Cagalli."

Well. Yeah. I guess I am.

**POV: Kira**

I cursed myself. I should have told teacher to announce the news only to me. And now… "I'm going to go get her," and left the thundering silence that had befallen on them. There was light flooding out of her door and I paused. She must be studying. Heck. But it's worth a try.

"Cagalli?"

No reply.

I turned the knob; it was left open, and saw her sitting, doing something on her study table that was piled with books and papers. Just as I thought, she's already doing our homework. My eyes softened as I watch her every move. She's _very_ pretty and very meticulous. I guess I'm the only one who knows how hard she worked just to earn the position she has now at school.

"Cagalli…I just…I wanted to say that…I'm sorry—"

She rolled her eyes. "Save your breath. Why don't you go down and play the perfect son."

"I'm NOT."

Finally she looked up from her work and my heart skipped a beat. Those amber eyes had lost its fiery heat and were replaced by some sort of emotion I never thought I will see in there. "Just leave me alone. Can't you see I'm working here?"

"I…" and backed away. "All right."

I stared at the smooth surface of wood and what lie beyond it. I've never seen her looked so... _despaired_. Clenching my fist, I restrained every will of unlocking that door and go to her side. Because that won't help, I know she won't accept any pity…especially coming from me. But then…I cast one final glance and stomped off. I guess tonight, when the world will lay down to rest, those tears will fall once again and I will be the only one to hear it as I stare at the ceiling, controlling the urge to stand and go to her room.

Because I know, no matter what I do, it will be of no use…for I'm the reason for those.

5-28-14

And the locked snapped.

"Huh?" I frowned as a pink envelope was glaring at me inside my locker. I reached for it and stared at the beautifully handwritten at the back saying, _Kira Yamato_. "How did this get in here?" From what I know, there's only one other person who knows the combination to this locker—Cagalli. But…glancing at the pink envelope…definitely NOT her choice of color. So it's from someone else then.

There's only one way to find out: open it. And that I did and began ripping the side, exposing a neatly folded pink paper.

And my frown deepened.

"What! From…_Lacus_?"

**POV: Cagalli**

"All right, all right. Don't freak out. I'll handle those," with a swift wave of a hand, I assured the other officers and gathered the papers that we were discussing about for a whole forty minutes. They routinely said their good byes and see you tomorrows and left me with myself in the deserted classroom.

It has been three days since Kira had seen, read and learned the little love declaration of my best friend. Yeah, after that, he started acting weird. And I mean _really_ weird. Kept looking at me with that questionable look, as if he's trapped in some kind of maze, which by the way, can be related to the current love problem he has. What did they see in him anyway? He's annoying, a brat and a crybaby. For goodness sake! That guy is totally spineless!

But then again…

I stopped doing whatever I was currently doing. Yes, he's an annoying crybaby bratty idiot but still he is nice and kind.

He is sweet.

"_Back off! This is my territory," and I started drawing a line on the sand in the playground. I smirked at him. "So if you don't want to get hurt little baby, don't you ever cross the line!"_

_He looked at me and hung his head. But he didn't set off; he just slumped, sat and stared at whatever I was doing at the other end of the line. It was annoying, how he observed me as if every little move I made was something to look at. Still, I ignored him and started playing until some sort of shadow loomed on my sand whale. It was the bully from grade one with one clear intention: to destroy my little sand whale. _

I smiled at the memory. When that bully had attacked me, after I stubbornly held my chin high, Kira dashed in front and was the one who received the punch. He is VERY stupid, I say. Stupid and sweet. What a combination.

But of course, I won't tell him that.

I gathered my things and was about to burst out of the half-opened door when two voices held my ear. It was familiar. It was…Lacus' and Kira's voices. I stood my ground and listened. I know I'm eavesdropping…but hey, this is something I should know first hand! And, scowling for no valid reason I could label, they were acting pretty cozy and friendly. I gripped the door frame and listened intensely.

"Lacus, I know I've been acting placid. I just don't know what to do. But I do like you, I really do. Still…I don't know…I just—"

"Shh." She stopped him just in time. Knowing the truth and seeing what her reaction in his eyes would be is unbearable. I stared dumbfounded at Kira and saw a sudden glint of pain crossed the pink-haired girl. "Don't say it. Don't say no or yes or anything." She beamed as a thought perked her brain. "Why don't you write me a letter as well, Kira? You know, as a reply."

"Ok."

Lacus took three little steps to him and what she did next brought a startled gasp from me. She tip-toed and kissed him lightly on the cheek. From the shadows, a heart skipped a beat and from the hallway, a blush started its journey on the cheeks. "Well, bye now Kira. See you tomorrow."

And she was gone.

I stared at her fading form down the uninhabited hallway, eyes wide and mouth hanging as far down as it can go. _She kissed him._ She really did. And a quizzical thing happened, my heart froze and then replaced by a continuous fast-paced beating that for some unknown reasons I don't know. "What are you doing in there?"

Kira's voice brought me back and I found it quite hard to turn my head to the other direction, HIS direction.

"I know you're in there, come out now or do you want me to go to you?"

How come he knows I'm here? Still looking at the other way, I slowly detached myself from the door and went inside the room. Should I or should I not? Damn! Why am I so panicky? It's just Kira, my goody step-brother. So go out now! Open the door and talk to him. But. MOVE! I just can't seem to move my feet! What's going on with you Cagalli! You can't BE afraid of that little dolt?

But I was beaten. His footsteps filled the air and body appeared on the doorway. He frowned. "You heard everything didn't you?" I didn't answer. I couldn't even move! The hell. "You must be thinking low of me, huh?"

"Shut up Kira. You almost made Lacus faint or something. How did you know I was here?" There, at least my vocal cords are normal. I fidgeted. I can't help it; I could feel those purple eyes were slicing through my very being.

"I guess some sort of sibling telepathy?"

I rolled my eyes but continued avoiding his gaze. "Haha. Try again Kira."

"Really. I can even distinguish your shadow from the rest or smell your scent from a hundred yards away. I know you well enough Cagalli."

A blush.

What! Where did that came from? This is insane! Move your feet and get out of here! All the voices inside my head were now roaring at me. "Whatever."

"Then why are you blushing?" and a smile started to tap dance on his lips. Loving the way his sister was squirming before him, he pushed. "See, those inky red spots in there," and reached out, pointing a hand to her flaming cheeks. "Don't tell me, I _made_ you blush."

That TOTALLY hit the spot. I glared and lunge for his shirt. I was about to swing a fist when my pants caught a loose edge of metal on a table, taking me out of balance. So much for being dangerously poised.

Kira grabbed my shoulder on the dot. "Next time dear sister, if you're going to punch me, be sure to inspect your surroundings as well." He smirked mockingly at me. Those purple eyes were laughing! And now, he's laughing! GRRR! The nerve!

"Shut up!" and pushed him off—well, pushed him TOO much as expected. He caught a hold of my shirt sleeves to regain his stability but the fall was sure fated…and was finally completed. But instead of him, it was him and me.

And warmth.

It was firm yet gentle and I felt my soul being overwhelmed by its intensity and greatness. Maybe if only I could stop the time, forget my place in this world, and just savor this foreign feeling that continued cradling me, promising not to let go, I will stay. But what is this warmth? What is this feeling? Could I be imagining it?

I opened my eyes and drowned into the depths of purples. The next thing I knew, I was swimming through it and what lies behind those depths as his lips finally found mine. It was gentle at first, testing, seeking, asking for acceptance. And when I let myself responded, it was returned with fervor and a need I had never known existed in him.

**Cagalli!**

Somewhere at the back of my head someone kept on shouting. It was the one who refused to be submitted and especially to someone who had taken those around her, the people she loved. Can't YOU remember? He's Kira for goodness sake! _You're kissing Kira!_

And that last line sent a bolt to my senses. I opened my eyes and hurriedly pushed him away. "Curse you," I glared but I could feel my lips were deceiving me. From where he had last touched, I could still feel tingles and warmth.

Kira, startled, and then frowned. "I thought…" he trailed and shook his head. "Never mind. It's my entire fault. I'm very sorry. Honestly, I didn't mean that to happen." He stood and smiled down at me. "Come, let's go home now."

I stared at the hand he freely gave. Why can't he just stop being so nice! It's beginning to drive me nuts! "No. I CAN go home by myself."

But he continued standing there, staring at me who was at the moment trying to device a plan to run and hide from that intense gaze those purple eyes were giving. "Don't worry, it'll never happen again."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop worrying yourself. I'm not thinking of that." Another plain lie. Of course, how could one stop thinking of a little kiss that had sent me on fire. And much of course a kiss given with such passion from my very own step-brother, from Kira himself! This is terribly bad.

Heaving a sigh, he gave up. "Alright. Suit yourself. Just don't get yourself out too late," with that, he left.

When the echo of his footsteps had finally disappeared, I collapsed on the now cold floor. I brought a hand to my lips and cringed. No, I can't be feeling this. But then his lips felt perfectly good on mine. And I felt perfectly good with it on mine. _I want him to kiss me again._

"ARG!" I threw my hands up in frustration. "Just stop thinking! Stop thinking of that idiot!"

With that, I slumped on a chair and willed my racing heart to slow down. _I must be over-reacting. Right. Just over-reacting._

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what do you think? hope you'll review. :)  
have a nice day!

**fictionalfact **signing off


	3. Fronts and Hate

**A/N:** i am truly sorry if it took me two months to update. but today and the next succeeding weeks, i will constantly update. and i would also like to say a huge **Thank You** to all those who've waited, reviewed and stopped by to read the story of this lazy writer. hehe. so i wish you'll like this chapter...even though its short compared to the others. but i have to stop there and place the succeeding events in the next chapter.

this chapter is somewhat tragic compared to the easy flow of the previous ones. but i do hope you'll like it. any suggestions or comments i will gladly hear it. thanks!

so here's the story...

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**MY ANTI-DEPRESSANT**

fictionalfact

**Realization #3: Fronts and Hate**

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**POV: Kira**

Nice one Kira Yamato.

Ok. There was no point in denying that my brain was being ambushed by absurdity and repugnance accompanied by the on-going voices that shouted: _what made you do that you idiot!_ And then the image of the flaring princess crosses my thoughts again and again, sending me in a flurry of trepidation. It was such a blessing that the sky was pitch black and silence hung in the air helping me contemplate of what will be and what should be done.

But the only problem is: I can't seem to think.

For her very image, those vivid amber eyes, the trace of redness on those cheeks and that glimmering wet lips would constantly peek at the corners of my mind. I _just_ can't seem to think clearly. No guy will ever think clearly after _that._

A sigh was escaped.

Dinner was silent except for the fact that mother kept babbling about the new project her company has in store for her department. The project will be done at the other city, four hours travel from theirs, and father made short responses so as to fill the uneasy silence on the table.

From my seat, I glanced away from my plate. Just on cue, Cagalli looked up from hers and our eyes met for a split second that is until she briefly glanced away with a slight redness spreading on her cheeks. I could only fumble with my fork and made myself busy.

_This is weird._

"So tomorrow noon I will have my flight and then take a bus to the metropolis—"

Father interrupted, "why don't I drive you? It will only take four to five hours…"

Mother pondered for a moment and raised an eyebrow. "And have you away from your work? I can go there by myself, don't worry and I'll be gone for a few days…or maybe a week if the work calls me to stay."

"A week?" Father exclaimed.

Just as expected, she thought and sighed inwardly. Father can be a big worrywart sometimes. "And since how many days you were gone the last time you went out of town? Two weeks am I right?"

"Whatever."

"So don't expect an instant dinner for a couple of days, children," she turned to us who were too self-absorbed during the whole discussion. "And don't expect to be served by your father," and she flipped her head at father's direction. "I don't want any of you sick when I got home."

"Hey!" Father retorted.

I smiled weakly at them.

I don't know. I guess I'mjust _not_ myself right now. And from the looks dad and mom were throwing at each other, Cagalli was _definitely_ not herself either.

You've just made a _huge_ mistake Yamato.

Nice try.

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From across to where I was lying after a restless night of squirming under the covers, the digital clock glowered and reminded me it was already **05:55 A.M.** My body suddenly has this impulsive contraction and I sat uptight as a realization dawned. _School._

My bare feet contacted with the cold floor and I stifled a yawn. I dashed out of my room, to the hall and towards the bathroom. But before heading straight, I stopped and found myself staring at her closed door. Her room was at peace. She's still sleeping.

The door's knob seemed welcoming and I have this sudden need to see her in a slumber state, even though I've seen her countless of times. And all those times I get to stare at her sleepy face, it never failed to amaze me. That well-known flare turning into a mellow light. She was just—a variety of sorts. She was just _plain _special.

But then, I resisted the urge.

After a full minute of staring at nothingness, I went for a shower and let the water rained down on my bare chest. When finished, I wrapped a clean towel around my naked body and continued massaging my wet hair with a blue towel. Then lunged to open the door.

"I kind of thought you're planning to stay there," Cagalli was standing right outside with that all-to-familiar glare.

I blinked. But that cringe never got unnoticed upon seeing me bare-naked. A grin was in progress. "And what are you staring at?"

She immediately scowled as a blush made its way across her cheeks. But the flare in those eyes did not falter. "Quit mocking me, you idiot. If you're finish, can you please move out? I have to, you know, do some human cleansing."

I stepped out of her way. "Oh. Yeah. Sure."

She made a silent grumble and avoided my gaze as she abruptly closed the door on my face. I continued standing there, still bewildered and quite brightened at the unexpected acknowledgment. I sighed. But knowing Cagalli, she can be the least yielding person in the entire universe. I flung the towel on my shoulder and went to my room.

I guess it will be another _long_ day.

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**POV: Cagalli**

My eyes sent flames at the back of that brown haired idiot and wished it could set him on fire.If he even thinks that a little acknowledgement is another expression of forgiveness, well you got it all wrong lass. The main antagonist started fidgeting on his seat as if my glares were burning holes on his back. Serves him right.

_Liar._

Because the truth is you're not mad Cagalli Yula Attha! You're not even annoyed or pissed. Instead you were overjoyed last night. Right? Right. Argh. STOP! My brow fell on my opened palms. _This_ has been bugging me all night long. How could one feel such bliss as if you're soaring through the clouds with the angels when you're step-brother had just kissed you? Not just any step-brother but a handsome one with all the works?

It could only lead to one thing though: Disaster.

Yup, you're treading on red-hot grounds Ca—

"—Cagalli."

Wait. Did I just hear my mind spoke my name out loud? Nah.

"Cagalli," and was accompanied by a poke on my side. It was Lacus. "Cagalli, it's your turn now."

I was taken out of my thoughts and saw Kira staring intensely at me across the room. I paled. Seeing that, he smiled...rather _knowingly_. Then he started mouthing something and made a series of gestures. When nothing helped, he started pointing at the book.

I scowled at him. If he thinks he can make fun of me, I'm not falling for that. Damn that idiot.

"Page 114, Miss Attha." Their teacher glanced from the book to her. "You can read that after you finished deciphering what Mister Yamato was signaling for you."

A couple of soft giggles and snorts followed as I held my book and prepared not to wince. Anyway, this is just a piece of cake.

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**At Room 211**

"Why do you keep doing that?"

It was Kira, of course. I should have known. "Keep doing what?" I flipped through the pages in the folder and went for the next one.

"Avoiding my questions during the meeting," and he chuckled. "Well, to put it plainly, keep avoiding me. Why so? Because of what happened last night?"

My fingers seemed to have a life of itself. But I thanked them; it kept me distracted and another reason to avoid looking at him. "Your questions are useless anyway, and the council has already decided all the preparations concerning the upcoming festival. So don't push it. And forget last night. It never happened."

"You're quite mean aren't you?"

This stopped me. I looked up and saw a small smile grazing his lips. "And in what part?" I asked and threw my hands frustratingly. The representatives from the different organizations that were still lingering around the room stopped moving and looked over them. "Stop being sentimental Kira," I added in a whisper. "You're making me sick."

He frowned. I guess I said too much. "Really. I wished you've told me sooner so I can stay out of your way. But you can't control people. You can't control people by being such a spoiled brat with that egoistical attitude of yours. It won't get you anywhere."

"Oh really?" I scowled. "If you didn't like being with a spoiled brat with that egoistical attitude then scam! There's no one stopping you! And I, in the very beginning, despised living with you and your father who must've charmed my mother into provoking her do such things and make my father leave…"

And a sudden slapped brought my hands to my cheek. My eyes were blazing in fury and my entire body was quivering from the impact and from hate as well. But his eyes, those tears, stopped me from retorting.

"I hate what had happened then as much as you do. But you have no right to ever blame father. No right." And those tears fell.

I glared and walked away from him, moving chairs and tables aside, towards the door. But someone was already there. It was the principal. He stared at me then at Kira along with the students flocking behind him.

"Come to the office, you and Yamato." With that, he walked past the gaping crowd. I followed him and heard Kira's footsteps coming behind me.

"Your fault you i_diot…_"

The prinicpal took his seat and eyed them dismally. "Take a seat." And both of them sat across from each other, gazes evading. "Your quarrel is not my ultimate purpose here. You're old enough to mend it on your own."

I stared at the principal in confusion. "I don't understand sir."

He sighed. The creases on his brow loosened. "I've just received a call. It's from your father, Mr. Yamato, and he's asking my permission to let you two go to the hospital. Your mother, "and he turned to me. His eyes betrayed something, an uncanny realization, that could never, should never, happen.

_No._ But my entire body stiffened. It can't be. Please don't say it. Tell me I'm wrong.

"Cagalli, your mother has an accident."

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**A/N:** there. thank you once again! you've made this frustrated writer smile by sending in your comments or suggestions or by stopping by and reading this.

**ficitonalfact** signing off.


	4. Behind Anger and Tolerance

**A/N: **i'm sorry (x100) that i failed to keep my word. actually, i was about to post this chap but was updating or something. sighs. i hurriedly wrote this so as to post this sooner so please, i hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me. (yeah right hahahahahah)

**warning:** things are getting a little fluffy here. (i think so)

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**MY ANTI-DEPRESSANT**

fictionalfact

**Realization #4: Behind Anger and Tolerance**

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**POV: Cagalli **

I wanted to laugh.

That's right. I wanted to give them a good laugh at that _baloney._ I wanted to burst right out there and laugh my head off. But anyway, who in the world would believe I have that kind of thoughts right after hearing that my mother had been rushed to the hospital? Kira? The principal? Yup, I guess they will from now on because right then and there, I did laugh my head off. Funny? Well not really. All I wanted was to expel this budding laughter and wait until one of them will say, "Gotcha! Just kidding." Which of course, did not happen.

They just gave me blank stares. Damn good joke that was.

Suddenly the number five blinked and we went out of the elevator.

And so here I am, almost floating through the corridors of the beige-painted walls of the hospital. I could feel every ounce of my breathing body turning into ice only to be heated once again by Kira's strong grip as he walked beside me, clutching my arms as if I'm a dying elderly about to sink to her knees. And right at this moment, as he almost dragged me to the emergency room that I stared up at him feeling so foolish, so helpless…and of course, exasperated.

Why wouldn't he cry? I mean, he's a complete crybaby, then why isn't he crying? Damnit!

He had sensed my stare. Those purples orbs never failed to convey that gentle glimmer in them. It was almost too damn heart-filling that I want to punch the lights out of them. He was just too kind, too sensitive.

"Don't worry, I will stay with you. Everything will turn out fine."

And that was when the tears started to fall. I warn you, I am about to have a breakdown, right there, in the corridor, amidst the countless visitors, patients and nurses who're strolling for their daily task and activities. My weakening knees finally gave up. My color draining out of me as my skin turned paler and paler every passing second. But his hold was there, encircling me and offering a warm solace that I do not deserve.

Why is he being so damn nice?

But of course, I knew the answer right before the question was formed.

Easy. He's just being...Kira.

His arms surrounded me and brought me off the floor to the nearest chair he could find. He gently laid me down and sat beside me, with his arms still there, giving me strength, supporting me. Then he whispered to my ear, "Everything will be all right ok. Do you want me to carry you there or stay here for the mean time?"

I had to smile at that. Letting Kira carry me like I'm some kind of a hospitalized wreck? Definitely a NO. He should know better than that since he had proudly declared he knew me too well. I was about to throw a sharp comeback when his lips formed a smile.

"Of course, how can I forget? My fiery step sister wouldn't like that one bit."

That silenced me. Damn him. He just knew me _too_ well for his own good.

Then we found ourselves engulfed by a strange silence. The soft murmurs of the nurses in the reception desk, footsteps resounding about the hall, the constant opening and closing of doors were all forgotten and only his breathing was the only sound I could heed as I comfortably sat beside him. I found myself wallowing on thoughts of him, his warmth, his breathing, his smile, his words. I found myself thinking what it's like to be like this, being near him always. Does this kind of thinking pass his mind as well?

I doubt that. For as we all know, I am the famous girl who had shunned him away. Yup, that's what you get Cagalli.

Suddenly those purple orbs glinted then went serious, yanking me out of my reverie. "But if anything happens, I promise you, Cagalli, I will always protect you." He turned to me with that gentle smile of his. "Is that all right with you?"

I could only stare at those vivid purples, unable to move, unable to speak. But he looked so different, so certain mother, that at that time, I could hardly say no.

I nodded in reply.

------------

The sky did not have its normal afternoon glow and the wind was colder than usual. I coiled beneath the heavy black clothing and listened to the soft murmurs of the priest as he chanted the traditional prayer. The people gathered around were casting dark shadows, ghostly and still, as they solemnly expressed their condolences. But I neither saw nor cared. I guess staring bleakly at the grass was more soothing.

An hour had passed and every soul had bid their goodbyes. But up until now, I could not will my feet to wander away. Where will I go now Mom? Back to that house with the two replacements that had entered our lives way back then? But that is not the question actually. What I'm meaning to ask is: will they accept me…after all my harsh treatments?

I doubt that. I really doubt they'll welcome me.

But the funny thing is: I could lay back down now. I admit, I've never felt so free, so unattached in my whole life. Because, you see, ever since they'd become part of the family, my heart started erupting with jealousy. That man and that young boy were targeted by my little mind as an adversary. I was scared they'll take you away from me as well mother and leave me the way dad did way back then.

So I've done my best to get your attention. I really did. But I guess Kira was better at that.

I hated him. I envied him –and yet he said he'll take care of me. He said he'll protect me.

My lips curved into a weak smile. Now, how that can be?

I kneeled down the earth and felt the wind gently ruffled my short hair. I lifted my fingers to tuck the loose strands when I noticed a black figure standing not far from behind. I turned and my eyes locked with his intense purples plunging me into its hidden depths. He walked nearer and stopped until we were almost side by side.

Then suddenly, I felt at lost. I longed to run, to disappear and hide somewhere, just about anywhere as long as it's far, far away from him. But my body sensors wouldn't obey me. They wouldn't budge one bit.

"Cagalli," I heard him say.

"Cagalli." This made me turn and face him. He was gazing down with that sad, gentle smile spreading across his face. "Dad and I are waiting for you." Then he offered a hand and I could only stare at it. It seems so coincidental that I nearly blushed at the memory when we had shared a kiss. However, this time, I took it and by just feeling the warmth his hand radiated, I knew everything will be all right.

Besides, it's just Kira, right?

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**POV: Kira**

I wanted to punch someone.

That's right. I wanted to hit something until all of these unexpected happenings disperse itself and clear to normality. I wanted to do something, anything at all, which might take all these emotions out of my chest. But my whole body just sat there, immobile, and waited until someone say this is only a bad dream.

But of course, no one did.

We walked together towards the open elevator and I pushed the number five button. Beside me, Cagalli stood, her eyes affixed to the floor with the most desperate expression on her face. I touched her arm and my fingers stayed there. This would be a lot harder on her part. For years that we'd been together, her mother had always been the center of her life. She was the reason that keeps the fiery glow in those amber eyes.

Finally, the number five blinked and we went out. Sensing something, my eyes strayed on hers, catching the embarrass glint in them which disappeared just as quickly. Wait. What had she been thinking? About mom? Of course twit. She's worried.

"Don't worry, I will stay with you. Everything will turn out fine."

And that was when her tears fall. I stood motionless beside her, too appalled to move or say anything. Did I say something? Then her face paled and all together her body broke down. I quickly gathered her into my arms and just in time before her body drop to the floor. My eyes surveyed the corridor and finally catching glimpse of a vacant chair, I carried her, avoiding the stares the passer-bys were throwing at us.

I cringed when I saw how fragile and shattered her face had become. It hurts me to see her like that—for I'd never seen her like that before. And after seeing that pained expression, all I wanted to do is throw that look away. I wanted to take all her sorrows, her pain, her fears. I wanted her to shout at me and say, "Damn you Kira, you idiot!"

But right at that moment, all I could do is embrace her and whisper, "Everything will be all right ok. Do you want me to carry you there or stay here for the mean time?"

And that brought the burning glimmer back to her eyes. I quickly retraced my words and have to smile at that.

"Of course, how can I forget? My fiery step sister wouldn't like that one bit."

For the mean time, we sat there, each lost with our own thoughts. But once in a while I would glance at her, yearning to be something more, much more to her. But what is it? What do I want from her? What do I want to be for her?

And that hit me. I wanted to be much more. I wanted to protect her.

She had sensed my stare and that solves the puzzle that was jumping my thoughts into frenzy. I smiled at her. "But if anything happens, I promise you, Cagalli, I will always protect you. Is that all right with you?"

The look in her eyes was the look of complete uncertainty. I feared that she'll brush me aside just as always. I feared that she'll place those walls back again and shun me out. Then she nodded and everything just cleared out.

I'm glad.

------------

It has been an hour and a half now and yet there she was, still standing in front of the newly shoveled grave of our mother. Father was beside me, his eyes downcast and trying hard to cover the pain that was vibrating throughout his body. Then I heard him sigh.

"I shouldn't have let her go to that city all by herself," he muttered, a sad smile was pasted across his pale face. "If only I let my instinct get the hold of me, this wouldn't have happened."

I shook my head. "Dad, it isn't your fault. If mom will hear you blaming yourself for this, she might have knocked you right there on the spot." That last sentence earned me a genuine smile and a slap on the back.

"Ha. She's always like that. Thinking her way is the best way."

I saw a silent ache pass those same purple eyes I'd inherited from and nodded.

Father walked to the other side of the car and called out, "Let's get Cagalli now. It's not best to let her stay in this freezing weather."

"All right."

At the distance, I saw her kneel down and shivered as a cold wind passed, fluttering her blonde her with it. The scene had held my gaze and my breath as well. It must have been from the soft beams the falling afternoon sun emitted or from the effect the scattered golden leaves have. It must have been from the solemn stillness of the place or the sudden swirling of feelings I had carefully hidden from anyone. Because as she turned to face me, I swear, I had never seen anyone look so ethereal than her, my step sister.

Then I frowned.

Her eyes had gone cold…no, not cold but afraid. She was evading my stare. That was when I remembered something. I was helping her in the kitchen then after Cagalli had stormed out of the living room…

"_Please look after her Kira," her step mother said, standing beside me, her apron still unwrinkled after busying herself in the kitchen. Her eyes had that thoughtful look in them. I wonder what had she been thinking. _

"_Cagalli?"_

_She nodded and smiled. "I know I don't have to say it since even from a distance, I can clearly read that you love her very much." That sent my cheeks burning and had her laughing. I struggled to say something. _

"_Of course I love her. She's my step sister anyway."_

_But she only shrugged and smiled even more. I guess she realized it was pissing me off and continued, "Anyway, what I'm trying to tell you is she's afraid of admitting you've become an important part of the family and of her as well. Please give her time. Show her you've accepted her as well."_

But even without telling me this, nothing will change. I'll still be here, protecting her.

"Cagalli."

She didn't move nor glance up. I tried again. "Cagalli," and this time she turned. When my eyes scanned her face, I smiled. I know she won't be crying. She's a strong girl. "Dad and I are waiting for you." Then I lifted my hand to her, in which she could only stare down at. Funny. This had happened before but not like last time, I won't let go until she accepted it.

And thank God, she did.

------------

The last remaining pitter patter resounded against the tiled floor as I finally turned the shower shut. Warm water had my numb skin prickling to life and was briefly smothered by a thick towel. Finally gathering the hung clothes, I went to the door and found no other than my step sister leaning against the door frame looking lost in thought. I smiled.

"I never thought you're waiting for me to finish. You could have at least shouted something like finish up you dolt or something like that." She shrugged and that bounced me right back to nutshell. I guess things around the Yamato-Attha residence will surely have its toll.

I eyed her rather intently. "You all right?"

"Yeah, yeah," and she shooed me away. "My turn." I stepped out of her way as she closed the door behind.

Oh well. These things shouldn't have surprised me I suppose. Sure thing something will _definitely_ change and I guess I'm badly missing her noise and mom's mediatory yells. Dinner a while ago was a _very_ quiet one. No one had dared speak. Silence was a much easier route than pretending to be ok when you're not. I wonder what Dad's doing. I let out a sigh and instead of going downstairs, chose to stay inside the four walls of my room.

But of course, staying inside doesn't mean I'm free from hearing what goes on beyond its four walls…and of course what goes on beyond the wall adjacent to her room. You see, before my dad and I came here, my room was part of Cagalli's. So when we arrived, since there's no space available around, they'd decided to divide it, since it's a lot bigger, spacer than the others. So here I am, lying in my bed, staring into the ceiling and hearing her footsteps around her room after she'd taken her shower.

Ok, I wanted to clear things. I am **not** stalking her or something. As I've explained, it's not my fault that I'm able to hear what she does and vice versa. So, you see, we're just even.

I opened an eye and my gaze fell to the digital clock on my bedside table, declaring it was already 12:02 a.m. I've been lying here for about two hours now and I just can't sleep. I sat up and decided to do something worth while than lying on my bed waiting for sleep to get me. I was about to walk to my study table when a knock stop me from my tracks. Now, who could that be?

"Cagalli?" I mouthed, surprised.

She gave me a weak smile and sighed. "I don't know Kira…I just don't want to stay alone there. I can't sleep. So…do you mind?"

Totally taken aback, I swallowed the surprise and said, "Sure. I mean not really," and stepped aside.

There she was, in her yellow pajamas with smiling pigs all over them a blue pillow on hand, standing outside my room, asking me if she can spend the night here. Were my thoughts that loud she heard it was thinking of her? She went in, stopped at the middle and glanced at me, looking troubled and hesitant.

"Are you sure?"

I offered a smile. "Sure. I mean I also can't sleep so that makes two of us." She nodded at that.

"I'm glad."

"You're glad?" I asked; an eyebrow rose in amusement.

She blushed but recovered immediately, rolling her eyes at me for cover. "Well it will be guilty on my part if I suddenly barged in waking you up from your sweet dreams you know."

I put my hands up, grinning. "Ok, ok."

Then both our gazes traveled to my bed. "So, um, I think I'll be at the far side."

Oh shit. I forgot. I didn't thought about that. I tilted my head to the other side. "I guess the other side's mine."

She flung herself on the soft cushions and yawned. Her arms were still hugging the blue pillow as she gazed at me, and for the first time, with a sincere smile…just meant for me. "Thanks Kira." And after that, she curled herself and once again, silence filled the room with only her constant breathing informing she's already asleep.

I let out a sigh.

Besides, it's just Cagalli, right?

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**A/N**: so there goes. i hope i didn't bore you with that. and yup, things are getting cozy there. im still thinking if i should write what happen after that (smiles) but it all depends on what you think.

To:** tam224ara, Darkmoon Fleur, junon2, Inulover4ever, Riley Mayori, Dark-Syaoran, cloudedge, Tetsuni, donut, Gauri92, Craze Izumi, Alex Ikari, CommandoDude, Cagalli Yula Athha Fangirl, Son of an Anjel, isbach >>** thank you very much for your reviews! it really means a lot.

about last chapter, it really took me long to write. i don't know...i guess writing about something too dramatic is hard (but is it that? dramatic?) anyways, thank you for your kind comments. i'm really glad after reading those. ; )

yours bubbling,  
**fictionalfact**


	5. Rapunzel and Something More

**A/N: **this chapter had been written veeeery hastily. i was near to strangle my own head after typing some lousy words and have to retype them again. (sigh) i just wanted to meet my deadline of posting...but i failed. but still-! i hope you'll like it anyways. the previous chapters had been serious and dramtic so in this one, i tried to make things light and casual.

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**MY ANTI DEPRESSANT**

fictionalfact

**Realization #5: Rapunzel and Something More**

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**POV: Kira**

It had taken all reason not to turn around and watch her as she silently sleep beside me. And it had taken all control not to lean onto her and let my lips brushed against hers. It had taken everything so as to not make a mistake that I might regret later on. But during midnight, when I found myself waking up from the light nudging of her arms beside me, I watched her, loving the way her golden hair was scattered on the pillows, her slightly parted lips and the sweet smell of her skin.

And this is one of those nights.

It had been three days since the funeral and every night, Cagalli will knock on my door and ask if she can spend the night with me. I, on the other hand, will just stand there, loving the way she looked in her pajamas and thinking the right and wrong of the situation. But, anyway, I ended up saying yes despite the thousand protests my mind will get afterwards.

I can't help it. I guess I also wanted to be near her.

And so I lay here, beside her, watching her and waiting for my alarm clock to blast off. Then my glance slowly fell on her lips and I have this aching desire to do just what I've been restraining myself not to. Fortunately or unfortunately, the alarm clock had decided it was time to remind me and I reached out to turn it off. At my side, Cagalli did not even flinch from the sound.

Letting out a sigh, I went to the bathroom and took a shower to keep my perverted thoughts away from her boundaries. The moment I went back, she was already up.

"You already took a shower," she stated matter-of-factly, her eyes staring up and down at my half nude form. I let out a cough and she instantly blushed. "What?" she snapped.

I smiled secretly as I took out my uniform. "Are you going to shower or stay here and watch me get dress?" I said teasingly and heard her rolled out of bed. I could almost feel her ambers boring a hole on my back. But my statement did work as she walked out of the door, closing it rather loudly.

I chuckled and felt more lightheaded upon seeing that blush on her face.

The school festival was two days away and classes were suspended for that day but the school had never looked busy or crowded as ever. Outside, students were grouped according to their organizations and were busily setting up their stands. There were decorations and signs everywhere. Colorful lanterns were set up and some of the students were helping the production students in finishing the props for the school play.

I looked out of the windows and smiled. Cagalli was supervising everyone and right now, she was yelling at two guys who almost stumble as they ran off after hearing her speech. I shook my head, "Tough as ever," and my smile faded as I saw Lacus leaning on the wall along with her theater friends. I remembered she was one of the major casts in the school play.

I glanced at their downcast faces and walked to her. "What's the matter? Did something happen?"

Lacus looked up at me with those beautiful eyes and smiled. "We're just having problems. Nicol who should be playing Rapunzel can't participate. He has a high fever and won't be able to come to school for three days. His understudy, Allen had an emergency. His grandfather was rushed to the hospital just yesterday and will be away for a week. We don't know who will fill the gap and…"

Lacus stopped and I frowned at her because she started eyeing me from head to toe. Then suddenly her eyes sparkled, confusing me even more. "What? Did you think of something?"

Lacus nodded and took a deep breath. She reached for my hand and said, "Kira, you're our only way out of this," and when I looked at her blankly, she grasped my hand tighter. "Can you be our Rapunzel? There's not much dialogue and we are right behind you and…"

Her voice seemed to fade as the word Rapunzel was being slowly ingested by my brain cells. The other actors had also gone to our side, bowing along with Lacus, begging to accept their offer. I could only stare wide eyed at them when someone patted me hard on the back.

"Aw. Come one Kira! You'll look pretty being Rapunzel," it was Cagalli. She was clearly enjoying the pressure I was in and I gave her a glare. But she continued, "Look at them," and both of us stared at the bowing group, their hands in pleading stance, "if there's no Rapunzel, there's no school play and their efforts will go unrewarded. Would you want that to happen?"

All right. She was putting me in a corner with no way out. I scowled one last time at her and faced Lacus, "Ok. I'll take the part."

I don't know what I'd gotten myself into. But I could only heave a sigh as the crew jumped to their feet and gave me a hug. And Cagalli? She was enjoying it. "Now, don't give me that face. You did what is right," she stated with a grin.

My eyes softened as she continued to grin at me and somehow seeing her grinning like that paid to whatever consequences I will soon face. Then I felt someone's arms encircled me and a pink mass soon covered my chest. It was Lacus. I felt my cheeks were heating up as an earlier episode suddenly by pass my mind. "Lacus what are—?"

"Thank you very much," she cut off and turned her lovely eyes straight at mine. Her cheeks reddened and she was smiling so charmingly that I could only stare at her. "You're a great guy Kira. I hope someday I could repay you somehow."

I shook my head and smiled back. "No need. Just like what Cagalli said, I don't want any of you down. We just have to help each other out, right?"

And when I turned to look at my side, she was already gone.

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**POV: Cagalli **

For some reasons, I could feel my hands already balling into fists. My breathing was different too. It came out in loud rasps, making my cheeks burn and reddened. But the worst of it all, I could feel my heart beating faster and being squashed like a piece of wet cloth squeezing the water out. I frowned at that. What is wrong with me? Damnit! Stop beating so fast! I mentally yelled as I clutched my pounding heart.

The pain was like someone would feel when you were betrayed. But I don't have any reason to be feeling this. Damnit. This feels so weird and I do not like it. It's freaking me out!

I slowed myself into a walk and leaned on the trunk of a tree for support. Breathing? Turning to normal. Heart? Nearly there. And the pain? Still present and no matter how much I tried to push those complicated thoughts away, it continued to linger there, mocking and killing my stubborn pride.

My gods I can't be…and my eyes widened as I fell on the grass with a horrified look…jealous?

Damnit. Damnit. Damnit!

"Cagalli!"

I heard Lacus calling me, suppressing the other noises the students were creating nearby. I guess I must've been sitting there like some stupid idiot reasoning out something that is too plainly put for over an hour or so. And just as I had expected, I heard soft footsteps approaching and saw Lacus plopping herself beside me. She has the widest grin ever.

"Everyone was ecstatic. You were right, Kira is good for that part," she enthusiastically said, hugging me tightly as always. "Thank you for convincing him."

I could only give her a weak smile and knowing Lacus, she caught my mood right away.

"Hey, anything bothering you Cagalli? Is there something wrong?" she released me from her grasp and forced me to look at her in the eye.

Now what? I just can't tell her that I realize something so stupid today, can I? So instead of replying back, I chose to remain silent. Lacus must have taken the hint because she took something out of her bag and said, "Just tell me about it when you're ready ok. Anyway, let's go back to these."

I glanced at the script on her hands and groan. Not again! "I don't know if you noticed it or not, but I could easily pass as your understudy! I could almost recite some of your parts without reading that!"

She chuckled and flipped the pages to where we last practiced. "I wanted to do this right and Kira, being Rapunzel, is still at the auditorium. Mirillia is helping him out and I can't practice with him yet when he still hadn't read the entire script."

I rolled my eyes and slumped on the grass. "All right, all right. What scene did we left off?"

After awhile, since its getting dark as well, I left Lacus. She said she'll have to stay and recheck all the props, costumes and the lights with Mirillia, the play's director. I walked alone, almost dreading to see the house and come face to face with Kira. But of course the house finally loomed down the road and I felt my strength detaching itself from my soul. I took a deep breath before going in.

"I'm home."

But I was greeted by silence and blackness. I reached for the switch and saw a note left by Kira's father who was working a little late than usual. Glad that I have the whole house to myself, I took a shower, eat my dinner and _hurriedly_ prepare for bed. The last thing I wanted is to face Kira. For the first time since mother died, I climbed my own bed and pull the covers. Just in time, the door downstairs bang shut and footsteps resounded against the walls.

It stopped just right outside my door. "Cagalli?" Kira said and when I didn't reply, he opened the door and I quickly shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep. "Good night," he whispered before closing the door behind him.

I opened my eyes and let out a sigh as I tried to slow my pounding heart.

I can't believe he's doing these to me. Of all people!

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"WHAT?"

Some of the crew that was present cringed at the shrillness of my voice. My feet immediately stopped on their tracks as I glared at the ominous bandages Mirillia was staring at around Lacus's right arm. I dashed at the foot of the stage stairs, worry and fear creasing my brow.

"Today's your rest day so what happened here? Your arm…what happened to your arm?" I demanded.

Lacus flinched warily at my tone but gave me a smile. "Nothing to worry about Cagalli. I was checking the props and stage for tomorrow's play," she said in an apologetic voice and admitted, "I couldn't help it. I just have to check everything. I want the play to be a successful one so I…"

"All right. I get it. You don't have to explain."

"We have to fix the floor on the tower. I don't want Kira having the same accident as you had," Mir muttered, clearly depressed at what had happened to Lacus. "But what about you Lacus, can you act with that thing on?"

"I don't know…" Lacus whispered, staring at her arm sling. "But it would look awful. I won't be able to climb Rapunzel's hair in this condition."

"So what now? Your understudy?" I asked.

"Meer is my understudy but I let her take the husband's role," Lacus leaned on the wall as finally exhaustion got the best of her. I mentally sighed. I've never seen her looked this despondent and tired. This was what my friend had been practicing for and without her, there's no other who can play the prince's part.

"I don't know! But I don't want this to fail either…" Lacus stopped and glanced at me. She has that gleam on her eyes that only meant something and I certainly don't like it. She stood up and grinned at the crew, "Don't worry. I got it all settled."

Mirillia gaped dumbfounded at her. "What do you mean? We don't have a prince!"

Then Lacus turned to me with a smile that certainly meant one thing: Disaster.

"We have and she's standing over here," she swung her left arm around me and I flinched. "Cagalli will be our prince!"

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POV: Kira

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let down your brown hair!"

I heard Cagalli's loud cry outside the gigantic papier-mâché made tower as I groped down, cursing peevishly and hauled the mound of straw hair towards the window. I threw the junk out and cursed even more when my wig got tangled with the heap.

"AHH! This is outrageous!" I muttered as I untangled the strands from the wig and placed it back on my head. Luckily, I was hidden inside the tower's walls with this horrible dress and this horribly styled hairpiece.

"My prince! You have finally come," I said in a singsong voice as Cagalli reached the window.

She, on the other hand, smiled mockingly back at me. Talk about being the good savor. She's clearly laughing at my painted face!

"O, my Rapunzel. Have you waited long? Here's the cord. If you finished it, we can finally escape from here."

I nodded, facing the crowd and avoid glancing at her glinting eyes. "O yes, my prince and we shall live happily ever after." Yeah right.

Cagalli, looking handsome and almost a boy in her costume, smiled and bowed low at the other side of the tower. "Until tomorrow, my love." She glided to the side, making a clean exit. Then Yzak entered, walking limply with a cane on hand matching his ever ridiculous grin.

"Ah ha! I, your dearest lovely witch, had seen your act, you immoral wrench! You shall be punished!"

I glanced down at the tower with a weary face as Yzak turned to the crowd laughing manically and throwing his cane in a triumphant manner. He was enjoying his part as well. Lucky him.

And by the way, I think he forgot he's supposed to be the old handicapped witch.

Sigh.

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"I can't see! I can't see!" Cagalli cried as she limp around the stage, holding a hand on her eyes while the other was blindly gripping its way around. She fell on the floor with a dramatic hand clutching the air for support. "The witch had blinded me!"

Then at the far distance, we heard Lacus take the mike and started singing. The crowd grew silent as Lacus beautiful voice floated around the auditorium, sending everyone including me in a melodious trance.

I peeked behind the curtains and felt Mirillia's hand squeezing my shoulders. She gave me a final nod as I glided, for the first time, on stage. The audience suddenly drew a wild hush, seeing me for the first time in my billowing pink dress, brown hair hidden by a crafted hairpiece and my lovely painted face. Yeah right. I mentally sighed and faked a 'shock look' as I saw Cagalli, lying on the floor with a hand on her chest. I finally ran to her side, falling on my knees with a cry,

"My prince!"

I wanted to die.

"My prince."

God, please take me right now.

Then I glanced up and saw the others watching us from the backstage. Mirillia was clasping her hands in a wondrous daze as she started mouthing something and I mouthed back, "What?"

"Kiss her."

"WHAT? Are you out of your mind? No way!" I mouthed back.

Mirillia started whispering at someone who handed her a board. There, written in bold letters "I said kiss her!" and I sweat dropped. She nodded as I stared back at Cagalli and gulped. Kiss her? How? My face had suddenly gone paler as I stared at Cagalli's closed eyes and down to her moistened lips. I could feel my heart started breaking loose out of its compartment as I leaned down.

_You wanted to kiss her remember?_

But not in front of everyone! Damnit!

_So what? And besides, this is your chance! Go for it!_

I took a deep breath and gulped. "Cagalli, I'm sorry," I muttered.

My lips were finally inches from hers when she peeked from her closed eyes and screamed, "Kira what in the hell do you thing you're doing, you idiot!"

And the lights went out.

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Normal POV

Although the play had the worst ending ever, the audience loved it anyway and even burst out laughing as the ashen faced Rapunzel and her prince took a bow. But who had turned the lights out? Well, there was only one who knows who…and why.

At the far back of the auditorium, a pair of emerald eyes gleamed and its owner walked out of the brass doors as the cast took their final bow.

* * *

**A/N:** is it ok? (hungs head exhaustedly) oh well.  
take care everyone and please feel free to share your thoughts and criticism. because your comments really helps. thanks!

**fictionalfact **signing off.


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